


Midnight Cheeto Run

by RichardGraysonPercyJackson



Series: Drunk Confessions With Dick Grayson and Jason Todd [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Big Brother Dick Grayson, Brothers, Cheeto cravings, Cravings, Drunk Jason, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Good Big Brother Dick Grayson, cheetos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 11:12:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19767010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichardGraysonPercyJackson/pseuds/RichardGraysonPercyJackson
Summary: "Please take all these cheetos home with you.”“I can’t! Sober Me doesn’t like cheetos!”“Alright, bedtime.”“But I haven’t finished my cheetos.”“I’m sure Sober Jason will thank you for that.”





	Midnight Cheeto Run

“I love you!”

Dick blinked slowly, staring up at Jason in the doorway of his apartment and trying to fight past the haze of exhaustion to come up with something halfway polite to say in return.

“Are you drunk?”

Not what he’d wanted to ask, but definitely something he wanted to know.

“Jus’ a little,” Jason replied, Gotham accent thick as he entered Dick’s apartment, looking around as though he’d never been there before. “I like your place, Dickie. How long’ve you bee here?”

“Several years, Jason,” Dick replied as he closed and locked the front door. “You’ve bene her before.”

“Have I?” Jason asked, picking up the TV remote to stare at it in aw before setting it down again. “Huh. Cool.” he looked over at Dick. “Do you have any cheetos?”

Dick blinked, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, do I what?”

“Cheetos,” Jason repeated as he made his way back to the bedroom. He appeared a second later, muttering under his breath, “That’s not the kitchen.”

“Jason, how much have you had to drink tonight?” Dick asked gently as he followed Jason into the kitchen, watching his brother dig through his pantry and cupboards.

He was taken aback when jason turned around, eyes already filled with tears. Right. Jason was tearful when he was drunk.

“I want Cheetos,” he mumbled, on the brink of bursting into tears. “You don’t even have bagels!”

He dropped to the floor and started sobbing while Dick could only stare as his brother unraveled over the fact that there were no cheetos.

“Do you...want to go get cheetos?” Dick asked tentatively.

Jason bounced to his feet, all traces of tears gone from his eyes. “And ice cream, and pizza, and-”

“We’re getting Cheetos. That’s it,” Dick said as Jason grabbed his hand and all but ran to the door, only stopping so Dick could quickly brush his hair, pull on his shoes, and grab his car keys and wallet.

When they got to the parking lot, Dick narrowed his eyes when he found a Harley Davidson parked sloppily next to the building.

“Jason, did you  _ drive  _ her?” Dick demanded as he walked over to Jason who was bouncing next to the car like an overeager puppy.

“No, why?” Jason asked, even though Dick  _ knew  _ that was his brother’s bike.

“I can’t tell if you’re lying or genuinely don’t remember,” Dick muttered as they got into the car.

“I teleported,” Jason declared.

“Well that answers one of tonight’s questions,” Dick mused to himself as he reached across the middle console to buckle Jason’s seatbelt because Drunk Jason was like a little kid.

It was kind of endearing, really.

“Cheetos!” Jason shouted, throwing his hands up as Dick pulled out of the parking lot and into the road.

Dick couldn’t help but laugh loudly at his enthusiasm.

………..

“Please don’t get cheeto dust on my couch, Jason,” Dick said with a sigh once they were back in the apartment, Jason sprawled out on the couch with a - frankly alarming - number of cheetos bags around him, one hand shoved elbow deep into a bag and fingers covered in orange powder.

“ Bu’ ish sho  _ gud _ !” Jason said through a mouthful of cheeto. Dick sighed again, shaking his head as he walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and a napkin. He returned just in time to watch Jason wipe his fingers on his jeans.

“You’re going to regret that in the morning,” Dick told him as he handed the napkin over.

“That’s a problem for Sober Me,” Jason replied.

“No, that's a problem that Sober You is going to put on  _ me _ ,” Dick replied, though he couldn't help but smile. “Also please take all these cheetos home with you because I don’t want them.”

Drunk Jason sniffled, suddenly on the verge of tears for no apparent reason. “I can’t!” he wailed, tears falling down his cheeks. “Sober Me doesn’t like cheetos!”

“Alright,” Dick said. “Bedtime.”

“But-”

“ _ Now _ .”

“But I haven’t finished my cheetos.”

“I’m sure Sober Jason will thank you for that.”

…………..

“And you’re sure we’re not fucking?”

Dick laughed loudly, turning to find Jason standing in the doorway of the kitchen, dressed in his boxers and glaring at him.

“Not my fault you keep coming over while drunk and stripping in my living room, Jay,” Dick told him fondly. “Nothing happened, I promise.”

Jason narrowed his eyes as he walked over to take a seat at the table, accepting the cup of coffee he was handed.

“Where are my jeans?” he asked. “I’d like to get out of here as soon as possible, please and thank you.”

“They’re in the dryer,” Dick replied. “I had to wash them but they should be done soon.”

“Why?”

“They got a little dirty.”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “You’re absolutely sure we’re not fucking?”

“Cross my heart, Jay,” Dick confirmed. “Just some stains. That’s all.”

Jason hummed quietly, taking a sip of his coffee before speaking again. “Do you have a spare toothbrush? I have the grossest taste in my mouth.”

Dick chuckled. “What is it?”

“Mix of alcohol and, like, cheetos.”

Dick laughed out loud and no matter how much Jason threatened to shoot him, Dick refused to explain.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your thoughts!!!


End file.
